3 Harsh Truths about Transformation People Don’t Want to Admit
The question I’ve been exploring as of late is: how can actions transform a person into the version of themselves that they want to become? Just like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, transformation is a process. It does not happen overnight. To be able to transform and become a better version of yourself, you must understand these 3 simple truths about changing:
KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE
Know your weaknesses. Know your triggers. Know your shortcomings. Know your “flaws”. Know what about you that needs to transform into something else. If you are too afraid or if you’re avoiding addressing what may need to change about you, you’ll stay stuck in the same limiting beliefs, habits, patterns, and environments that are not serving you. And you’ll keep repeating whatever cycle you’re in, over and over and over again.
You can’t begin to change yourself in any meaningful way until you confront who you really are. — Robert Greene
Self-awareness is the key to understanding who you are and starting to implement real transformation into your life and your future self.
TRANSFORMATION IS UNCOMFORTABLE
Everything in life comes at a cost. Growth and transformation are uncomfortable. It will require doing things where you are uncertain, scared, and possibly (more like definitely) really really uncomfortable. The cost of NOT transforming and becoming a better version of yourself is GREATER though. That’s where the feeling of being stuck comes in, because it’s a sign that you’re not growing.
It’s easy to be content with the status quo, especially when all of your basic needs are being met. It’s easy to just feel grateful for what you have, and not push yourself to do more — because honestly, you don’t have to. Growing and transforming into a better version of yourself will require you to put yourself in uncomfortable situations — because the reward will be worth it. Because you deserve it. The experience itself will teach you whatever you need to learn to be able to keep moving forward towards your goals.
IT WON’T ALWAYS LOOK LIKE YOU PICTURED IT
More like almost never. One thing I’ve learned in self-development and setting and achieving goals is that it’s always better to focus on how I want to feel versus how I want it to look.
When I was younger, I focused on what my life was supposed to look like. I thought I was supposed to get married, get a house, and have kids. However, what I learned was that you can do all of those things and still be unhappy. I had to look deeper, and see what really mattered to me, what things felt like they were fueling me and what was depleting me.
Now, my life doesn’t look like most people’s, and that’s because I’m not most people. We are all unique individuals, and there’s no one-size-fits-all method to life. For me, being highly sensitive, I avoid situations that might look like fun, but are actually incredibly draining for me. Quarantining during COVID helped me realize how much I was putting myself in socially draining environments that didn’t serve me at all; I really started to embrace my introversion.
So now, I care so much less about how boring or weird or even challenging my life may look from the outside. Because we all know there’s tons of people in this world whose lives appear amazing and wonderful, and they’re actually feeling crappy, stuck, depressed, or unfulfilled. You have to ask yourself at some point: what is more important — how your life looks or how you feel about it?
To transform and elevate, you may be required to go it alone. You will have people and things removed from you so that you can search within and find power. Trust that during this period you’re being directed towards peace, healing and growth. — Ash Alves
